[You left. Words that will probably haunt her for her entire life. She sniffs as Chloe talks, squeezes her hands back, tries to stop the crying, but...
Max reaches up and strokes her friend's head, gently. She shuts her eyes and pushes her cheek against Chloe, breathes in the smell, lets her tears roll into the girl's hair.]
You didn't do anything wrong, Chloe. You'd just lost your dad, and I... [And I was thirteen, she wants to say. I was thirteen and I'd never been good with handling my emotions, much less other people's, and William had been like a father to me, too. But that sounds so stupid - a childish, useless excuse.] And I was a terrible friend. A terrible person. And I'm so, so fucking sorry, Chloe. I'm not-... I'm not gonna leave you like that again. I can't. I can't go through that again, Chloe, I... [Her fingers dig into Chloe's hair. She drags in a ragged breath.] You don't know what it was like... after the storm. I can't... do that again.
[Her other arm wraps around Chloe, holding her tight, using her to steady herself amid barely suppressed sobs.
Chloe has a point. They'd made all sorts of promises to never leave each other in Wonderland. They'd said all the right things. And then one morning, Max woke up alone - and Chloe's room was completely bare - and a year of grief began.
Her voice is small and choked.]
I don't know. We'll find a way to stay, or... I don't know.
[She pulls away slightly to look Chloe in the eye.]
It's going to be terrible if one of us leaves. [It's an understatement. She knows that from experience.] But... it's going to be terrible if we're not friends, too. If we're not close. [She takes a deep breath.] I don't know how to do that. I can't, Chloe...
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Max reaches up and strokes her friend's head, gently. She shuts her eyes and pushes her cheek against Chloe, breathes in the smell, lets her tears roll into the girl's hair.]
You didn't do anything wrong, Chloe. You'd just lost your dad, and I... [And I was thirteen, she wants to say. I was thirteen and I'd never been good with handling my emotions, much less other people's, and William had been like a father to me, too. But that sounds so stupid - a childish, useless excuse.] And I was a terrible friend. A terrible person. And I'm so, so fucking sorry, Chloe. I'm not-... I'm not gonna leave you like that again. I can't. I can't go through that again, Chloe, I... [Her fingers dig into Chloe's hair. She drags in a ragged breath.] You don't know what it was like... after the storm. I can't... do that again.
[Her other arm wraps around Chloe, holding her tight, using her to steady herself amid barely suppressed sobs.
Chloe has a point. They'd made all sorts of promises to never leave each other in Wonderland. They'd said all the right things. And then one morning, Max woke up alone - and Chloe's room was completely bare - and a year of grief began.
Her voice is small and choked.]
I don't know. We'll find a way to stay, or... I don't know.
[She pulls away slightly to look Chloe in the eye.]
It's going to be terrible if one of us leaves. [It's an understatement. She knows that from experience.] But... it's going to be terrible if we're not friends, too. If we're not close. [She takes a deep breath.] I don't know how to do that. I can't, Chloe...