No. [ She goes to run a hand through her hair, pulling off the beanie in the process, her eyes locking on Max's shoes for a solid second or two afterward as she tries to figure out how to even follow that up. ]
No, this isn't... this isn't a joke. I don't know why I do this stuff. I don't - [ She bites down on the inside of her cheek, eyes closing as she tries to stop herself from crying. She doesn't feel like she really has a right in the moment. Not when she's sure hurt so many people by getting herself killed. ]
Maybe - maybe when you just... get told your life isn't worth anything for so long, you get stuck in some fucked up habits. Or maybe risking it has been the only way I've been able to feel alive since Dad. Or maybe knowing that I've got -- That everything back home is -- [ She closes her eyes even tighter, shaking her head. ]
I promise I'll try to be better. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt Eddie.
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Date: 2018-12-29 01:59 am (UTC)No, this isn't... this isn't a joke. I don't know why I do this stuff. I don't - [ She bites down on the inside of her cheek, eyes closing as she tries to stop herself from crying. She doesn't feel like she really has a right in the moment. Not when she's sure hurt so many people by getting herself killed. ]
Maybe - maybe when you just... get told your life isn't worth anything for so long, you get stuck in some fucked up habits. Or maybe risking it has been the only way I've been able to feel alive since Dad. Or maybe knowing that I've got -- That everything back home is -- [ She closes her eyes even tighter, shaking her head. ]
I promise I'll try to be better. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt Eddie.