[She's messing around with her guitar when she hears the knock. She cuts the song short and sets the guitar away quietly, before standing to open the door to her room.
What, so you think trying to call is going to make leaving me better? Yeah, maybe 5 years ago when you left for Seattle. But God Max! Why would you even fucking think of doing this to me again?
I- [This is a lot harder than she thought it would be. She turns to shut the door slowly, buying herself time to respond. When it does her voice sounds hesitant and small, and she hates it.] It was an event... I didn't know what I was doing.
[It doesn't immediately register to Chloe what Max said.]
What do you mean you didn't know what you were doing? Did you really just get up one day and decide to leave your best friend all over again? Is that really the story you wanna go with?
[Chloe is pretty much beyond reasoni by now... even more than usual.]
No. [She knows how much this stuff upsets her best friend... Max should have gone to Chloe first, but she didn't know what she was supposed to say. She still doesn't. She keeps her eyes downcast.]
I mean- Chloe, it was an event. I didn't remember anything about Arcadia Bay or Seattle.
[Chloe's voice becomes flat but doesn't lose its edginess.
She considers Max for a while before turning her back to her and keeping her arms folded. Yes, Wonderland and its fucked up events. Of course. By now, she is all too familiar with these psycho events. How could she forget? Flashes of it fill her mind, but they're all rather hazy.
Did she really think that Max would willingly walk out on her? Now? After everything that's happened? Of course not. It was all because of Wonderfuckingland. Screw this place.
Chloe is just about ready to let this go when a realization hits her. Still turned away from Max, Chloe speaks after a while, in the same cool level tone.]
So are you telling me that your default answer to things is to leave me when things get rough?
[And there it is- the idea she was hoping desperately that Chloe wouldn't come up with. All the facts of the event arr pretty bare, and at the end of it all Max had proven she would run away. She would leave Chloe.
But that's not fair. That wasn't really her- it was a different Max, with new memories, new motives... new priorities.
How does she even begin to explain something like that? The right words just won't come to mind. It's frustrating as hell... and she knows that a few seconds' delay will just agitate Chloe even more.]
[Max shakes her head vigorously, even if Chloe can't see it.] I didn't choose to leave for Seattle, okay? [She sounds almost like she's pleading.] I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't... remember everything. Like Wonderland, you, all the promises... it was all messed up.
[Part of her wants Chloe to turn around so she can look her in the eye, but another part is scared of what expression Chloe would be wearing.] I'd never do that to you- not here, not after everything we've been through.
[Chloe turns and makes her way to the bedroom door. She doesn't need-- want-- to hear this right now.
Or ever, really. Enough of this BS abandonment crap. Chloe's just refusing to process Max leaving. Whether it was because of an event or not, it doesn't fucking matter. It still hurts like hell.
Beer, cigarettes, anything to just numb the pain. Those are what I need now.]
[Wha- no, no, no she's leaving, she's heading for the door, she can't because Max still has to make her understand-
Stupid, stupid- can't find the right words, never can, it's just so hard for Max to explain this sort of thing... and it seems like a heartfelt I love you won't cut it this time. Her chest feels tight- all that frustration and anger at herself building inside her.
She tries to block Chloe from leaving, tries to throw her arms around the other girl in a tight hug.]
I'm- I'm sorry, I just- that wasn't me, Chloe... you have to believe me, p- please.
[Chloe stops moving for a while and stands still as she feels Max's arms tighten around her. She doesn't return the hug, but she doesn't pull away either. She's been left so many times, hurt so many times, that she just doesn't want to deal with any of it anymore.
Maybe that's why she didn't answer Max's call during the event. Chloe just couldn't bear being on the other side of that phone, all alone and away from the one person that mattered to her.
And now that person's in front of her, hugging her like there's no tomorrow. Tomorrow... What if Max leaves again tomorrow? Can Chloe still handle the pain? How many times does she have to be left alone before the world finally stops bullying her?
She's over the edge now. A bit more and it'll push her right out the door. But Chloe loves Max. To the moon and back. And right now, that's the only thing rooting her to this spot.
She takes a hold of Max's arms and pulls away gently so she can look at her face.]
Tell me why I should believe you. Give me one good reason why I should believe that you wouldn't choose to leave me again.
[Okay... Chloe hasn't left. That's good, and Max should be relieved, but she instead feels slight panic at Chloe's bombshell of a question.
What can she say? I love you seems kind of hollow- even though it's not, it's definitely not. Max has never loved anyone like this.
Maybe Max should kiss her, a kind of long, hard kiss that does so much more than words- but that's so sappy. And Chloe might get even more pissed....
I promised would flat in the face of the event. And an I don't know would just push Chloe out the door.]
I-
[Moments tick by. Max has nothing, no proof. Nothing smart to say.]
I...
[Something starts to bend inside her- all the walls she'd built ever since her last rewind, ever since Nathan pulled the trigger.
And words start tumbling out.]
I c-can't lose you again, Chloe. You don't- know what it was like, after the storm... You don't know what it was like here, waiting for you to arrive... Or even just- just thinking about everything I've screwed up so much.
[God she's fucking crying again. But it's so hard to even care.]
I can't leave you, Chloe, because I- I think I kind of... need you.
[Because I've gotten torn up so badly- and right now there's just one thing holding me together.]
And if I didn't have you, if I lost you again, I- don't know what I'd be like. But I wouldn't be okay.
[Chloe doesn't let go of Max. Not now, not when she's crying again. It's been a while since she's seen her best friend break down like this. And it's not a pleasant sight to behold.
Not completely forgetting her anger, Chloe reaches out and wipes away Max's tears. She can't help but smile, very very slightly. Even while crying, Max is still so effing cute. This time, Chloe pulls Max to an embrace but doen't speak for a while. Truth to be told, she doesn't really know what to say, what to reply to that confession.
Max is obviously hurting... And I'm a complete ass for not seeing that sooner.
She tightens the embrace and murmurs in Max's hair.]
[The moment Chloe pulls her back into an embrace, all the walls are up again. She does not want to completely break down right now- not in front of Chloe. She doesn't want Chloe to see just how damaged she really is. Just how messed up.
After Arcadia Bay, and all her failures in Wonderland... after messing up with Chara and getting Alex killed, after stupidly telling Sans about the rewinds, after avoiding and avoiding and avoiding thinking about the mental scarring from screwing around with time...
No. She doesn't have to think about those things. Because she has Chloe. Because Chloe has always been there to turn a shitty day into a good one.
[Chloe gives Max one last squeeze before pulling away so she can kiss her lightly on the forehead. She looks at her bestfriend's eyes, searching for any more signs of hurt.]
So... Do you wanna tell me what happened during the event?
[Max has to avoid that look, choosing instead to gaze at her picture wall.]
There's not much to say. [She really doesn't want to talk about it. But Chloe has to know at some point... that's what partners do.] I found out I could... rewind, like a mutation. Total superhero crap. [She shrugs, trying to play it off lightly, but still not quite looking Chloe in the eye. With slow steps she meanders over to her bed and takes a seat.] I... I thought I had to run. I thought everyone would hate me...
[Her expression contorts almost angrily.] It wasn't nice. I had to- I mean... I was a runaway. I scraped by on charity. [But then her face softens again, and a long sigh escapes from between her lips.] But so many people helped. Wonderland people.
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After the mutant event; action pls
Date: 2016-08-18 02:05 pm (UTC)Knock, knock Max! I know you're in there.
Action because you asked nicely ;)
Date: 2016-08-18 02:11 pm (UTC)She looks particularly abashed.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 02:26 pm (UTC)Where the fuck were you, Max Caulfield? How could you do that? Just up and leave?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 02:29 pm (UTC)I tried to call...
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 02:42 pm (UTC)What, so you think trying to call is going to make leaving me better? Yeah, maybe 5 years ago when you left for Seattle. But God Max! Why would you even fucking think of doing this to me again?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 02:55 pm (UTC)What do you mean you didn't know what you were doing? Did you really just get up one day and decide to leave your best friend all over again? Is that really the story you wanna go with?
[Chloe is pretty much beyond reasoni by now... even more than usual.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 03:04 pm (UTC)I mean- Chloe, it was an event. I didn't remember anything about Arcadia Bay or Seattle.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-18 03:16 pm (UTC)[Chloe's voice becomes flat but doesn't lose its edginess.
She considers Max for a while before turning her back to her and keeping her arms folded. Yes, Wonderland and its fucked up events. Of course. By now, she is all too familiar with these psycho events. How could she forget? Flashes of it fill her mind, but they're all rather hazy.
Did she really think that Max would willingly walk out on her? Now? After everything that's happened? Of course not. It was all because of Wonderfuckingland. Screw this place.
Chloe is just about ready to let this go when a realization hits her. Still turned away from Max, Chloe speaks after a while, in the same cool level tone.]
So are you telling me that your default answer to things is to leave me when things get rough?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-19 02:39 pm (UTC)But that's not fair. That wasn't really her- it was a different Max, with new memories, new motives... new priorities.
How does she even begin to explain something like that? The right words just won't come to mind. It's frustrating as hell... and she knows that a few seconds' delay will just agitate Chloe even more.]
I swear that's not true. Chloe...
no subject
Date: 2016-08-19 02:49 pm (UTC)You have a funny way of showing it, Max Caulfield. It's freaking Seattle all over again.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-19 03:17 pm (UTC)[Part of her wants Chloe to turn around so she can look her in the eye, but another part is scared of what expression Chloe would be wearing.] I'd never do that to you- not here, not after everything we've been through.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 02:22 pm (UTC)[Chloe turns and makes her way to the bedroom door. She doesn't need-- want-- to hear this right now.
Or ever, really. Enough of this BS abandonment crap. Chloe's just refusing to process Max leaving. Whether it was because of an event or not, it doesn't fucking matter. It still hurts like hell.
Beer, cigarettes, anything to just numb the pain. Those are what I need now.]
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 02:30 pm (UTC)Stupid, stupid- can't find the right words, never can, it's just so hard for Max to explain this sort of thing... and it seems like a heartfelt I love you won't cut it this time. Her chest feels tight- all that frustration and anger at herself building inside her.
She tries to block Chloe from leaving, tries to throw her arms around the other girl in a tight hug.]
I'm- I'm sorry, I just- that wasn't me, Chloe... you have to believe me, p- please.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 02:49 pm (UTC)Maybe that's why she didn't answer Max's call during the event. Chloe just couldn't bear being on the other side of that phone, all alone and away from the one person that mattered to her.
And now that person's in front of her, hugging her like there's no tomorrow. Tomorrow... What if Max leaves again tomorrow? Can Chloe still handle the pain? How many times does she have to be left alone before the world finally stops bullying her?
She's over the edge now. A bit more and it'll push her right out the door. But Chloe loves Max. To the moon and back. And right now, that's the only thing rooting her to this spot.
She takes a hold of Max's arms and pulls away gently so she can look at her face.]
Tell me why I should believe you. Give me one good reason why I should believe that you wouldn't choose to leave me again.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 03:18 pm (UTC)What can she say? I love you seems kind of hollow- even though it's not, it's definitely not. Max has never loved anyone like this.
Maybe Max should kiss her, a kind of long, hard kiss that does so much more than words- but that's so sappy. And Chloe might get even more pissed....
I promised would flat in the face of the event. And an I don't know would just push Chloe out the door.]
I-
[Moments tick by. Max has nothing, no proof. Nothing smart to say.]
I...
[Something starts to bend inside her- all the walls she'd built ever since her last rewind, ever since Nathan pulled the trigger.
And words start tumbling out.]
I c-can't lose you again, Chloe. You don't- know what it was like, after the storm... You don't know what it was like here, waiting for you to arrive... Or even just- just thinking about everything I've screwed up so much.
[God she's fucking crying again. But it's so hard to even care.]
I can't leave you, Chloe, because I- I think I kind of... need you.
[Because I've gotten torn up so badly- and right now there's just one thing holding me together.]
And if I didn't have you, if I lost you again, I- don't know what I'd be like. But I wouldn't be okay.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 03:39 pm (UTC)Not completely forgetting her anger, Chloe reaches out and wipes away Max's tears. She can't help but smile, very very slightly. Even while crying, Max is still so effing cute. This time, Chloe pulls Max to an embrace but doen't speak for a while. Truth to be told, she doesn't really know what to say, what to reply to that confession.
Max is obviously hurting... And I'm a complete ass for not seeing that sooner.
She tightens the embrace and murmurs in Max's hair.]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Max.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-21 03:47 pm (UTC)After Arcadia Bay, and all her failures in Wonderland... after messing up with Chara and getting Alex killed, after stupidly telling Sans about the rewinds, after avoiding and avoiding and avoiding thinking about the mental scarring from screwing around with time...
No. She doesn't have to think about those things. Because she has Chloe. Because Chloe has always been there to turn a shitty day into a good one.
That's better than any alcohol or cigarette.
Never mind the similarities.
It's better.
She's okay.]
2/2
Date: 2016-08-21 03:51 pm (UTC)...I'm sorry. I was dumb- I never would have left you if I'd been thinking straight, Chloe.
[She drags in a shaky breath and lets it out slowly.] Partners. Forever.
[And she'll take care of her blue-haired girl, no matter what.] I'm never leaving you. I promised.
no subject
Date: 2016-08-23 02:34 pm (UTC)[Chloe gives Max one last squeeze before pulling away so she can kiss her lightly on the forehead. She looks at her bestfriend's eyes, searching for any more signs of hurt.]
So... Do you wanna tell me what happened during the event?
no subject
Date: 2016-08-24 06:37 am (UTC)There's not much to say. [She really doesn't want to talk about it. But Chloe has to know at some point... that's what partners do.] I found out I could... rewind, like a mutation. Total superhero crap. [She shrugs, trying to play it off lightly, but still not quite looking Chloe in the eye. With slow steps she meanders over to her bed and takes a seat.] I... I thought I had to run. I thought everyone would hate me...
[Her expression contorts almost angrily.] It wasn't nice. I had to- I mean... I was a runaway. I scraped by on charity. [But then her face softens again, and a long sigh escapes from between her lips.] But so many people helped. Wonderland people.