[It's been about a month in Deerington. Horrible things have happened, but she wouldn't trade this for another month without Chloe. Never.
Chloe leans into the hug and presses on just the wrong spot - one of the particularly bad wounds. Of all the times for the stupid things to start acting up. Max lets out a strained mmf of pain as she pulls away.]
I just- I got-...
[She pulls on the sleeves of her pajamas, making sure they're covering the bandages down her arms.]
[ She saw the tugging, saw the way she moved and quickly moved herself to turn on the light finally, her eyes trying to adjust quickly to the change as she settled back on the bed. ]
"Let's not"? [ Oh no. No, that was clearly not going to fly. It didn't matter how she was feeling, Chloe got up on her feet quick so she cut off Max's path to her own bed. ]
You're not just avoiding this. Did someone hurt you? [ 'Cause it's pretty clear she'll throw down if they did, ok. ]
[Bandages cover her arm, from halfway down her forearm all the way up, regardless how far Chloe pushes her sleeve. It's clear that they extend to her torso. They're neat and professional, and clean, but frayed at some edges where she's obviously picked at them.
[ She pushed them up far enough to get the message, her fingers reaching out to gently brush over the bandages. It's easy to tell she went to Angela, which only makes her frown deepen. She had needed medical attention and she kept it from her. They both had.
Her forehead wrinkles, creases deep as she looks back up at her. ]
[She really wishes she'd thought about this more. What to say. How to say it. She gulps, then forces herself to look up at Chloe.]
...When I talked to Reaper, I tried to... rewind it away. [She bites her lip.] I was trying to be safe. [The intent is important, right...?]
And all my old scars just suddenly tore open. [Not only a reminder of one of her worst moments in Wonderland, when she ran into that wall of bone and it shattered, lacerating her arms and torso. But also painful and terrifying here in Deerington.]
[ Oooh, does that bring silence. A lot of it. She's staring at her for a moment, the emotions she's feeling somehow blessedly staying off of her face the whole time. Or perhaps that's not much of a comfort in the long run, leaving her in the dark with how she's reacting to it all.
Her jaw tenses for a moment and she goes to carefully roll her sleeves down. The fact that these were old scars meant that there had been old wounds, and while she had known that her time in Wonderland likely hadn't been easy, she hated knowing that it had been so hard. She hated being forced to see the evidence of it. There's a sadness to it, a worry, a guilt - she had been there, she'd left, and she couldn't remember a damn thing.
And there's anger. Anger she manages to quiet down, to keep at least a little more under control than she might have a year ago. ]
I told you not to for a reason, Max. [ Her voice trembles with the effort to stay even as she looks back up to her. She promised she wouldn't freak and she's trying her damnedest to keep it. ] This place fucks with peoples powers. You could've killed yourself.
[Her long silence is almost too much to bear. Max stares at Chloe, already thinking about how terrible this is going to be. How angry Chloe is going to sound. And, reflexively, already thinking about rewinding this away, even though that's exactly the problem.
She stands there, hands shaking the tiniest bit, as Chloe rolls her sleeves down.]
I... I thought this was a good enough reason to do it.
[A matter of life or death after all. Not her's but...
She stops short of saying she's sorry, because she's entirely sure that she is.]
[ Chloe places her hands against Max's face, meeting her eyes finally as she did so. It's a firm grip, but not so much so that she wouldn't be able to pull away with ease if she wanted to. ]
Max, I need you to promise me that unless you're in a situation where it's immediately life-threatening - like, blow about to land kind of moments - you won't use your powers. You don't even know that this is the worst it could get.
[ She swallows rough enough that it's visible in her throat, trying to hold back any tears she wanted to cry. She's sick of crying. ]
This shit has cost us enough, hasn't it? Can't we just... let everything fall wherever it's going to?
[She doesn't pull away; in fact she puts a hand over one of Chloe's. There's real distress in her expression. Not sadness or doubt or anger. Distress. Wide eyes, furrowed brow, trembling lip. She shakes her head very slightly as though trying to say no, but it has no real conviction, not so much an answer as just a motion.
Rewinding is the only advantage they have. Without it they're literally just a pair of girls from Oregon. And yeah, she can agree to only using it when needed. But to narrow it down that much? To save it only for the very last instant?
She thinks back on their days in Arcadia and imagines how many things she could've fixed ahead of time. If she'd been smart about it.
She blinks several times, also forcing herself not to cry. How can Chloe ask this of her? To let things fall wherever they want to? Don't both of them deserve more than that, after everything that happened before?]
[ Chloe let her hands drop when she didn't answer with more than the shake, going to grip at her own hair quickly in frustration as she turns away from her. Her hands drop back to her sides after a moment, the sound of her palms hitting her thighs feeling unnaturally loud in the quiet of Angela's house so late at night. ]
What if the cuts are deeper next time? What if you end up getting more nosebleeds? Don't you remember how weak this shit made you? Or do you just not care as long as you can fix everything?
[ The word sounds as bitter as one might expect it to. Fix was, after all, hardly a word she could describe to what happened in Arcadia Bay. ]
If it nearly killed you at home, this place will make sure it does here. Don't you get that?
Edited (my default icon is super inappropriate for this tag) 2019-01-07 03:57 (UTC)
But how do you say that? How do you make it sound like you care, not like you're digging relentlessly at old wounds? Not like you're being obsessive and dangerously one-sided?
She does care. Who she cares about more is the better question.
She reaches forward, putting a tentative hand on Chloe's shoulder.]
Let's not fight...
[It's a small plea. She's so tired of fighting with Chloe. She hates it every single time. If only the world was simpler, less dangerous, then the two of them would have nothing to argue over. It would be like being kids all over again.
Being an adult is hard.
How much more fighting before Chloe pushes her away? Before they stop being friends? Even just a little more now will send Max over and make her promise to stop rewinding, if only so they'll stop fighting...]
[ She doesn't pull away from her touch, at least, even if she doesn't immediately respond to her words. The plea isn't ignored, but she doesn't know what to say to it, how to give in when it feels like so much is at stake.
But she owes it to her, doesn't she? To give her peace of mind after all the pain and trouble she's caused her by being reckless. The very thing she's begging Max to not be. Was it fair? Did she even have a right to ask her to take care of herself when she so rarely did so for Max?
Chloe turns her head enough so that she could see her out of the corner of her eye over her shoulder. No more or less, not sure she can look at her and still agree. ]
Despite Chloe backing down, Max feels terrible. If anything it makes her want to cry more - that sideways look, the finality of her words and tone. She's sure it would take more than this for them to not be friends, but it's certainly a chink in that armor. A little step toward an unhappy ending.
But they need this. They need the rewinds. Chloe needs them. Max stands there, staring, unsure whether to pull her hand away.]
[ She tries to relax. The tension manages to leave her shoulders, deflating her slightly in the process. She didn't want to fight. She just always seems to start one. Whether it's out of concern or just because she's never had good control on her temper, it's still always there.
She's caused enough drama for her and she hates the idea of causing more. She forces herself to turn a little more fully towards her, not quite able to shake the exhaustion from her face, even if she tries to give her a reassuring smile.
The same smile she always tried to give her mom when trying to convince her everything really was just fine. ]
You'll do what you think is right. I trust you. I'm just... worrying, I guess.
[She's not sure how much she trusts that smile, but it's at the very least a little comforting. She tugs at Chloe's arm, pulling her toward the bed.]
I don't blame you. Just leave the worrying to me while you're still sick...
[She needs rest. Max reaches down into her bag, because she has something that might help: one of Chloe's candy edibles. Max was pretty sure they wouldn't be stinking up Angela's house with actual smoke (cigarette or otherwise), and she'd fortunately had the foresight to swipe one of the candies from Chloe's room. She'd seen them often enough and she can guess exactly what they do. She unwraps it from some tissue paper and offers it.]
...This is a one time deal okay? It's not exactly what the doctor ordered.
[ Chloe lets her lead her, going to pull herself onto the mattress as Max started to dig around in her bag. Her forehead wrinkles with some curiosity as she settles in against the pillows, and when she sees what's being offered, she can't help the small laugh.
She takes it without complaint. ]
Thanks, Max. [ She pops the candy into her mouth, letting it melt on her tongue as she settles her head against the pillows.
There's a pause before she reaches her hand out to her, going to try and grab ahold of her sleeve. ]
[She smiles at Chloe's laugh. It's small but it's there.]
Consider it a peace offering.
[Max watches her take the candy and lie down, and is just about to move back to her cot when she feels the soft tug at her sleeve.]
Of course, Chloe.
[She's tempted to tease Chloe about potentially catching the flu from her, but it feels awkward next to that offer. Lying down next to her as best friends is one thing, but there's a lot more history behind it from Max's point of view.
Still. She gladly gets under the covers, happy to be sharing this moment as friends. She shoots Chloe a much more obvious smile.]
[ There's relief when she feels her give in and come to lay down with her. She knows maybe it isn't fair, understands everything it could imply, but there's that quiet need to be close after everything. After her nightmare, after Max's injuries, after their fight.
Chloe wrapped her arms carefully around her middle when she laid down, pulling herself closer and returning the smile. Sleepily, but more genuine than it had been before. ]
[The arms around her are unexpected but not unwelcome. It's enough to shut Max up, anyway. The position may help Chloe drift off to sleep, but the opposite is true for Max. She lays awake for a while longer, enjoying the moment and trying not to feel guilty for doing so. She's very aware of her own breathing and the butterflies in her stomach, right around where Chloe is touching her.
Eventually she releases a long breath and closes her eyes, wondering at everything that's happened between them - all the way to this moment in time.]
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mypartnerintime) wrote2030-12-10 10:14 pm
no subject
[It's been about a month in Deerington. Horrible things have happened, but she wouldn't trade this for another month without Chloe. Never.
Chloe leans into the hug and presses on just the wrong spot - one of the particularly bad wounds. Of all the times for the stupid things to start acting up. Max lets out a strained mmf of pain as she pulls away.]
I just- I got-...
[She pulls on the sleeves of her pajamas, making sure they're covering the bandages down her arms.]
It's nothing. I was dumb.
no subject
[ She saw the tugging, saw the way she moved and quickly moved herself to turn on the light finally, her eyes trying to adjust quickly to the change as she settled back on the bed. ]
When? Let me - let me see.
no subject
There's nothing to see...
[Chloe goes back to the bed and Max stands, moving back toward her cot. Yes, Chloe, she's literally physically avoiding you in the same small room.]
Let's not, okay?
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You're not just avoiding this. Did someone hurt you? [ 'Cause it's pretty clear she'll throw down if they did, ok. ]
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Nobody hurt me.
[Except herself apparently. She looks down at the floor, extending an arm toward Chloe, offering her sleeve.]
Please don't freak.
no subject
Her mouth scrunches, before she tentatively reaches forward and goes to push her sleeves up without a word. ]
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She keeps her eyes on the floor.]
no subject
Her forehead wrinkles, creases deep as she looks back up at her. ]
How?
no subject
...When I talked to Reaper, I tried to... rewind it away. [She bites her lip.] I was trying to be safe. [The intent is important, right...?]
And all my old scars just suddenly tore open. [Not only a reminder of one of her worst moments in Wonderland, when she ran into that wall of bone and it shattered, lacerating her arms and torso. But also painful and terrifying here in Deerington.]
no subject
Her jaw tenses for a moment and she goes to carefully roll her sleeves down. The fact that these were old scars meant that there had been old wounds, and while she had known that her time in Wonderland likely hadn't been easy, she hated knowing that it had been so hard. She hated being forced to see the evidence of it. There's a sadness to it, a worry, a guilt - she had been there, she'd left, and she couldn't remember a damn thing.
And there's anger. Anger she manages to quiet down, to keep at least a little more under control than she might have a year ago. ]
I told you not to for a reason, Max. [ Her voice trembles with the effort to stay even as she looks back up to her. She promised she wouldn't freak and she's trying her damnedest to keep it. ] This place fucks with peoples powers. You could've killed yourself.
no subject
She stands there, hands shaking the tiniest bit, as Chloe rolls her sleeves down.]
I... I thought this was a good enough reason to do it.
[A matter of life or death after all. Not her's but...
She stops short of saying she's sorry, because she's entirely sure that she is.]
no subject
Max, I need you to promise me that unless you're in a situation where it's immediately life-threatening - like, blow about to land kind of moments - you won't use your powers. You don't even know that this is the worst it could get.
[ She swallows rough enough that it's visible in her throat, trying to hold back any tears she wanted to cry. She's sick of crying. ]
This shit has cost us enough, hasn't it? Can't we just... let everything fall wherever it's going to?
no subject
Rewinding is the only advantage they have. Without it they're literally just a pair of girls from Oregon. And yeah, she can agree to only using it when needed. But to narrow it down that much? To save it only for the very last instant?
She thinks back on their days in Arcadia and imagines how many things she could've fixed ahead of time. If she'd been smart about it.
She blinks several times, also forcing herself not to cry. How can Chloe ask this of her? To let things fall wherever they want to? Don't both of them deserve more than that, after everything that happened before?]
no subject
What if the cuts are deeper next time? What if you end up getting more nosebleeds? Don't you remember how weak this shit made you? Or do you just not care as long as you can fix everything?
[ The word sounds as bitter as one might expect it to. Fix was, after all, hardly a word she could describe to what happened in Arcadia Bay. ]
If it nearly killed you at home, this place will make sure it does here. Don't you get that?
no subject
Do you know what my death count is?
One.
Compared to nine.
But how do you say that? How do you make it sound like you care, not like you're digging relentlessly at old wounds? Not like you're being obsessive and dangerously one-sided?
She does care. Who she cares about more is the better question.
She reaches forward, putting a tentative hand on Chloe's shoulder.]
Let's not fight...
[It's a small plea. She's so tired of fighting with Chloe. She hates it every single time. If only the world was simpler, less dangerous, then the two of them would have nothing to argue over. It would be like being kids all over again.
Being an adult is hard.
How much more fighting before Chloe pushes her away? Before they stop being friends? Even just a little more now will send Max over and make her promise to stop rewinding, if only so they'll stop fighting...]
no subject
But she owes it to her, doesn't she? To give her peace of mind after all the pain and trouble she's caused her by being reckless. The very thing she's begging Max to not be. Was it fair? Did she even have a right to ask her to take care of herself when she so rarely did so for Max?
Chloe turns her head enough so that she could see her out of the corner of her eye over her shoulder. No more or less, not sure she can look at her and still agree. ]
Fine. Consider it dropped.
no subject
Despite Chloe backing down, Max feels terrible. If anything it makes her want to cry more - that sideways look, the finality of her words and tone. She's sure it would take more than this for them to not be friends, but it's certainly a chink in that armor. A little step toward an unhappy ending.
But they need this. They need the rewinds. Chloe needs them. Max stands there, staring, unsure whether to pull her hand away.]
Chloe...
no subject
She's caused enough drama for her and she hates the idea of causing more. She forces herself to turn a little more fully towards her, not quite able to shake the exhaustion from her face, even if she tries to give her a reassuring smile.
The same smile she always tried to give her mom when trying to convince her everything really was just fine. ]
You'll do what you think is right. I trust you. I'm just... worrying, I guess.
hope this is ok lol
I don't blame you. Just leave the worrying to me while you're still sick...
[She needs rest. Max reaches down into her bag, because she has something that might help: one of Chloe's candy edibles. Max was pretty sure they wouldn't be stinking up Angela's house with actual smoke (cigarette or otherwise), and she'd fortunately had the foresight to swipe one of the candies from Chloe's room. She'd seen them often enough and she can guess exactly what they do. She unwraps it from some tissue paper and offers it.]
...This is a one time deal okay? It's not exactly what the doctor ordered.
ahaha it's perfect
She takes it without complaint. ]
Thanks, Max. [ She pops the candy into her mouth, letting it melt on her tongue as she settles her head against the pillows.
There's a pause before she reaches her hand out to her, going to try and grab ahold of her sleeve. ]
... Lay down with me?
no subject
Consider it a peace offering.
[Max watches her take the candy and lie down, and is just about to move back to her cot when she feels the soft tug at her sleeve.]
Of course, Chloe.
[She's tempted to tease Chloe about potentially catching the flu from her, but it feels awkward next to that offer. Lying down next to her as best friends is one thing, but there's a lot more history behind it from Max's point of view.
Still. She gladly gets under the covers, happy to be sharing this moment as friends. She shoots Chloe a much more obvious smile.]
no subject
Chloe wrapped her arms carefully around her middle when she laid down, pulling herself closer and returning the smile. Sleepily, but more genuine than it had been before. ]
Thanks.
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Eventually she releases a long breath and closes her eyes, wondering at everything that's happened between them - all the way to this moment in time.]