But how do you say that? How do you make it sound like you care, not like you're digging relentlessly at old wounds? Not like you're being obsessive and dangerously one-sided?
She does care. Who she cares about more is the better question.
She reaches forward, putting a tentative hand on Chloe's shoulder.]
Let's not fight...
[It's a small plea. She's so tired of fighting with Chloe. She hates it every single time. If only the world was simpler, less dangerous, then the two of them would have nothing to argue over. It would be like being kids all over again.
Being an adult is hard.
How much more fighting before Chloe pushes her away? Before they stop being friends? Even just a little more now will send Max over and make her promise to stop rewinding, if only so they'll stop fighting...]
[ She doesn't pull away from her touch, at least, even if she doesn't immediately respond to her words. The plea isn't ignored, but she doesn't know what to say to it, how to give in when it feels like so much is at stake.
But she owes it to her, doesn't she? To give her peace of mind after all the pain and trouble she's caused her by being reckless. The very thing she's begging Max to not be. Was it fair? Did she even have a right to ask her to take care of herself when she so rarely did so for Max?
Chloe turns her head enough so that she could see her out of the corner of her eye over her shoulder. No more or less, not sure she can look at her and still agree. ]
Despite Chloe backing down, Max feels terrible. If anything it makes her want to cry more - that sideways look, the finality of her words and tone. She's sure it would take more than this for them to not be friends, but it's certainly a chink in that armor. A little step toward an unhappy ending.
But they need this. They need the rewinds. Chloe needs them. Max stands there, staring, unsure whether to pull her hand away.]
[ She tries to relax. The tension manages to leave her shoulders, deflating her slightly in the process. She didn't want to fight. She just always seems to start one. Whether it's out of concern or just because she's never had good control on her temper, it's still always there.
She's caused enough drama for her and she hates the idea of causing more. She forces herself to turn a little more fully towards her, not quite able to shake the exhaustion from her face, even if she tries to give her a reassuring smile.
The same smile she always tried to give her mom when trying to convince her everything really was just fine. ]
You'll do what you think is right. I trust you. I'm just... worrying, I guess.
[She's not sure how much she trusts that smile, but it's at the very least a little comforting. She tugs at Chloe's arm, pulling her toward the bed.]
I don't blame you. Just leave the worrying to me while you're still sick...
[She needs rest. Max reaches down into her bag, because she has something that might help: one of Chloe's candy edibles. Max was pretty sure they wouldn't be stinking up Angela's house with actual smoke (cigarette or otherwise), and she'd fortunately had the foresight to swipe one of the candies from Chloe's room. She'd seen them often enough and she can guess exactly what they do. She unwraps it from some tissue paper and offers it.]
...This is a one time deal okay? It's not exactly what the doctor ordered.
[ Chloe lets her lead her, going to pull herself onto the mattress as Max started to dig around in her bag. Her forehead wrinkles with some curiosity as she settles in against the pillows, and when she sees what's being offered, she can't help the small laugh.
She takes it without complaint. ]
Thanks, Max. [ She pops the candy into her mouth, letting it melt on her tongue as she settles her head against the pillows.
There's a pause before she reaches her hand out to her, going to try and grab ahold of her sleeve. ]
[She smiles at Chloe's laugh. It's small but it's there.]
Consider it a peace offering.
[Max watches her take the candy and lie down, and is just about to move back to her cot when she feels the soft tug at her sleeve.]
Of course, Chloe.
[She's tempted to tease Chloe about potentially catching the flu from her, but it feels awkward next to that offer. Lying down next to her as best friends is one thing, but there's a lot more history behind it from Max's point of view.
Still. She gladly gets under the covers, happy to be sharing this moment as friends. She shoots Chloe a much more obvious smile.]
[ There's relief when she feels her give in and come to lay down with her. She knows maybe it isn't fair, understands everything it could imply, but there's that quiet need to be close after everything. After her nightmare, after Max's injuries, after their fight.
Chloe wrapped her arms carefully around her middle when she laid down, pulling herself closer and returning the smile. Sleepily, but more genuine than it had been before. ]
[The arms around her are unexpected but not unwelcome. It's enough to shut Max up, anyway. The position may help Chloe drift off to sleep, but the opposite is true for Max. She lays awake for a while longer, enjoying the moment and trying not to feel guilty for doing so. She's very aware of her own breathing and the butterflies in her stomach, right around where Chloe is touching her.
Eventually she releases a long breath and closes her eyes, wondering at everything that's happened between them - all the way to this moment in time.]
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no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 04:24 am (UTC)Do you know what my death count is?
One.
Compared to nine.
But how do you say that? How do you make it sound like you care, not like you're digging relentlessly at old wounds? Not like you're being obsessive and dangerously one-sided?
She does care. Who she cares about more is the better question.
She reaches forward, putting a tentative hand on Chloe's shoulder.]
Let's not fight...
[It's a small plea. She's so tired of fighting with Chloe. She hates it every single time. If only the world was simpler, less dangerous, then the two of them would have nothing to argue over. It would be like being kids all over again.
Being an adult is hard.
How much more fighting before Chloe pushes her away? Before they stop being friends? Even just a little more now will send Max over and make her promise to stop rewinding, if only so they'll stop fighting...]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 04:35 am (UTC)But she owes it to her, doesn't she? To give her peace of mind after all the pain and trouble she's caused her by being reckless. The very thing she's begging Max to not be. Was it fair? Did she even have a right to ask her to take care of herself when she so rarely did so for Max?
Chloe turns her head enough so that she could see her out of the corner of her eye over her shoulder. No more or less, not sure she can look at her and still agree. ]
Fine. Consider it dropped.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 04:44 am (UTC)Despite Chloe backing down, Max feels terrible. If anything it makes her want to cry more - that sideways look, the finality of her words and tone. She's sure it would take more than this for them to not be friends, but it's certainly a chink in that armor. A little step toward an unhappy ending.
But they need this. They need the rewinds. Chloe needs them. Max stands there, staring, unsure whether to pull her hand away.]
Chloe...
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 05:06 am (UTC)She's caused enough drama for her and she hates the idea of causing more. She forces herself to turn a little more fully towards her, not quite able to shake the exhaustion from her face, even if she tries to give her a reassuring smile.
The same smile she always tried to give her mom when trying to convince her everything really was just fine. ]
You'll do what you think is right. I trust you. I'm just... worrying, I guess.
hope this is ok lol
Date: 2019-01-07 05:31 am (UTC)I don't blame you. Just leave the worrying to me while you're still sick...
[She needs rest. Max reaches down into her bag, because she has something that might help: one of Chloe's candy edibles. Max was pretty sure they wouldn't be stinking up Angela's house with actual smoke (cigarette or otherwise), and she'd fortunately had the foresight to swipe one of the candies from Chloe's room. She'd seen them often enough and she can guess exactly what they do. She unwraps it from some tissue paper and offers it.]
...This is a one time deal okay? It's not exactly what the doctor ordered.
ahaha it's perfect
Date: 2019-01-07 05:51 am (UTC)She takes it without complaint. ]
Thanks, Max. [ She pops the candy into her mouth, letting it melt on her tongue as she settles her head against the pillows.
There's a pause before she reaches her hand out to her, going to try and grab ahold of her sleeve. ]
... Lay down with me?
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 06:11 am (UTC)Consider it a peace offering.
[Max watches her take the candy and lie down, and is just about to move back to her cot when she feels the soft tug at her sleeve.]
Of course, Chloe.
[She's tempted to tease Chloe about potentially catching the flu from her, but it feels awkward next to that offer. Lying down next to her as best friends is one thing, but there's a lot more history behind it from Max's point of view.
Still. She gladly gets under the covers, happy to be sharing this moment as friends. She shoots Chloe a much more obvious smile.]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 04:56 pm (UTC)Chloe wrapped her arms carefully around her middle when she laid down, pulling herself closer and returning the smile. Sleepily, but more genuine than it had been before. ]
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-07 05:06 pm (UTC)Eventually she releases a long breath and closes her eyes, wondering at everything that's happened between them - all the way to this moment in time.]