(Eddie Kaspbrak rarely did anything calmly. Apparently coming back to life was included in that.
Of all the people to expect in his room post-death, Max was the very last one. He stares at her with open confusion, his brows scrunched together, and it's a shock enough that it helps center him. He would have thought Reyes, maybe, or Angela. Chara. Shiro. But Max? Max was in his room and by his side telling him to breathe.
And he did breathe. He swallowed a big breath of air and held it for a few seconds before exhaling. He lets her touch him. That's surprising too. But why was it so surprising? Max had always been kind to him.
It occurs to Eddie that he really hasn't changed all that much. Some part of him still just always figured people had the worst intentions, but Max wasn't one of those people. With such a simple gesture, she moved from 'unknown potential threat' to 'safe' in his mind. Even though Chloe had assured him before that Max was a good person: this was proof. It had to be proof, right? Maybe it wasn't an absolute trust, but it provided a warm shape of something like it inside of him.
His shoulders relax and he lets himself lean into her, turning his face briefly to rest it into her collarbone.)
That wasn't a nightmare, was it. (It's not really a question. Not when all of that pain had been so vivid, so raw. His voice is a little muffled, and he tips his head to rest it against her shoulder instead.)
'Okay' is a pretty loose word I think. I feel like shit.
[She's going to maintain this hug for however long it takes for his breathing to calm - for his sense of reality to shift back into something comfortable and safe. Her hand comes up to gently hold his head and tuck it against her as he leans it on her shoulder.
...He's so young. She forgets how young he is, with all the drinking and the swearing. He should be worrying about his growth spurt and school and making friends. Not about shit like this. But death does seem to find people when they're at this age - she and Chloe learned that the hard way, and now Eddie too, a terrible climax to months of being stuck here. What kind of childhood is that? Life seems to like kicking kids down, doesn't it?
Life can go fuck itself.
She doesn't bother answering his not-question. She knows he doesn't want one.]
You don't look like shit, though.
[...That's not entirely true. His hand... She takes it in her own, carefully running her thumb over the scarred skin. Chloe's been vague at best about all the details of what went happened, and Max hadn't really wanted to guess, so she wasn't sure what she was going to see. It could've been a lot worse... a small consolation for Eddie's current state.]
I bet you'll be doing pirouettes before you know it.
[She wishes her voice was a little calmer and stronger, for Eddie's sake, but she sounds as anxious as always.]
(It was easy to forget sometimes. Even Eddie had forgotten lately. For a long time he just had no friends his own age in Deerington or even close to it, so he had started to run like the Big Kids long before he should of. Sitting there being held by Max somehow made him realize that too. He just felt smaller than he had in a long, long time. All of his bones felt brittle and even his lungs felt heavy.
Life really did have it out for kids.
For some reason her statement startles a reaction out of him. It's a bit of an awkward, hysterical laugh that mostly gets muffled by her shoulder. She might feel a bit of a wet spot starting to seep into her shirt because it figures that of all things that would be the one to get him crying.)
I'm glad I'm still pretty. (It's a horrible joke, and he knows it, but he's doing his best here. Eddie tips back from Max, sniffing loudly and looking down between them and at his hand.)
I can't even do pirouettes regularly so we might not want to hold out on that dream.
(He lets himself cry in front of Max. Of all people in Deerington, he doesn't think she was going to be calling him anything for crying anytime soon. His face is still growing flushed with embarrassment though. Sometimes he really did hate how weak he was.
He rubs at his face with his free hand, trying to do something about the tears. He noticed the nervousness in her voice. How could he not? He practically invented the Anxious Tone. But he doesn't think badly of her for it. Shit. He had literally just come back from the dead. Though it makes him wonder.)
Um. (He sniffs again, and he doesn't want this to sound bad. He's just...curious.)
Why were you in here anyway? (This was his room, right? A quick glance around confirms that. There wasn't any sort of ugly suspicion in his tone. He didn't think she was snooping or whatever. Max just didn't seem the type. He didn't realize yet how much she knew.)
[Someday, perhaps Eddie will realize how strong someone needs to be to cry in front of other people.
She says nothing about the tears staining her shirt, of course, and when he pulls away she almost wishes he hadn't. There's a swell of emotion in her chest and she'd like to hold him close for as long as he's crying - baby him a little, keep him comfortable and safe. Instead she keeps her hand on his head, moving it downward to gently cup his cheek, letting his tears run over her fingers.
When he looks down at his hand she squeezes it in her own, as though acknowledging its current state and saying it was okay.]
You'll be the town heartthrob in no time.
[There's a hint of teasing deep under that statement, and the slightest smile. But that fades a moment later at his question. A very strange one, in her opinion.]
I was waiting for you to wake up. I brought you water and some medicine for the flu and...
[She trails off, suddenly unsure. Maybe he wants to be alone.
(It would be nothing short of a miracle the day that Eddie Kaspbrak ever let anything about himself was strong. Especially that.
Some part of him wanted to be held longer. No, that wasn't exactly right. A huge part of him wanted that. Eddie relished in affection from the people he was close with especially in moments like these. It kept him grounded. And when Max put her hand on his face like that? He gave a more earnest, broken kind of noise, and cried just a little harder. It makes his next laugh even more distorted than the other one had been.)
You have way too much faith in me. Pretty sure the only heart throbbing I'll being is any necessary chest compressions. (God, he was such a nerd.
It's as surprising of an answer as anything else, and Eddie's left staring at her in a sort of quiet amazement. Maybe he should be asking how she knew that he had died, but it suddenly didn't matter.)
You were waiting to take care of me?
(Max had always seemed nice, absolutely, but Eddie knew that you didn't just do that kind of thing for anyone. Did she really care that much about him? Eddie can't help himself. He withdraws from her for a few seconds out of surprise, his hands briefly sliding over his face. Eddie had known how he died as an adult forever ago. The worst part had always been how his friends had just left him there. He had been left alone in death, and that had stuck with him so badly that he had cried in Chara's arms begging for them to not leave so that he wouldn't be alone when he finally passed.
But then to have someone waiting for him even after his death?
He had never thought that the universe or anyone in it would be that kind to him. It's not really the sort of thing you can even put into words. But one thing becomes stupidly clear when Max suggests she go because Eddie gives a shriek of "No!" before he's surging back out and wrapping his arms back around her, squeezing closer than he had before in a full-on hug.)
No, don't leave. Please. (Being alone would be the worst thing right now. He knew it.)
Thank you. I'm sorry- I didn't. I just. I didn't expect it.
[Her heart sinks as he leans away, realizing in that moment that she must have made a mistake. She's embarrassed him or violated his personal space or something - dying is a shocking, terrifying ordeal and some people might not want to go through that while other people are looking, so-
Then he yells and rushes back to throw his arms around her, and she almost jerks away in surprise - almost. She hugs him back just as tightly, and his small begging makes her tear up. That's something she never wants to hear from a kid. Especially from Eddie.]
S-silly. You don't have to apologize.
[She hopes he doesn't let go right away this time. Her hands move to rub his back comfortingly. She wonders what must be going through Eddie's mind, to think that someone wouldn't be there for him. To think that no one wanted to take care of him. And she does want that. She does.]
It's okay, Eddie. Whatever you're feeling right now... it's okay to feel that way. I promise.
[She's a little lost for words after that, unsure how to comfort him except to hold him and let him cry as much as he needs to into her shoulder.]
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Date: 2019-06-03 01:04 pm (UTC)Of all the people to expect in his room post-death, Max was the very last one. He stares at her with open confusion, his brows scrunched together, and it's a shock enough that it helps center him. He would have thought Reyes, maybe, or Angela. Chara. Shiro. But Max? Max was in his room and by his side telling him to breathe.
And he did breathe. He swallowed a big breath of air and held it for a few seconds before exhaling. He lets her touch him. That's surprising too. But why was it so surprising? Max had always been kind to him.
It occurs to Eddie that he really hasn't changed all that much. Some part of him still just always figured people had the worst intentions, but Max wasn't one of those people. With such a simple gesture, she moved from 'unknown potential threat' to 'safe' in his mind. Even though Chloe had assured him before that Max was a good person: this was proof. It had to be proof, right? Maybe it wasn't an absolute trust, but it provided a warm shape of something like it inside of him.
His shoulders relax and he lets himself lean into her, turning his face briefly to rest it into her collarbone.)
That wasn't a nightmare, was it. (It's not really a question. Not when all of that pain had been so vivid, so raw. His voice is a little muffled, and he tips his head to rest it against her shoulder instead.)
'Okay' is a pretty loose word I think. I feel like shit.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-03 02:57 pm (UTC)...He's so young. She forgets how young he is, with all the drinking and the swearing. He should be worrying about his growth spurt and school and making friends. Not about shit like this. But death does seem to find people when they're at this age - she and Chloe learned that the hard way, and now Eddie too, a terrible climax to months of being stuck here. What kind of childhood is that? Life seems to like kicking kids down, doesn't it?
Life can go fuck itself.
She doesn't bother answering his not-question. She knows he doesn't want one.]
You don't look like shit, though.
[...That's not entirely true. His hand... She takes it in her own, carefully running her thumb over the scarred skin. Chloe's been vague at best about all the details of what went happened, and Max hadn't really wanted to guess, so she wasn't sure what she was going to see. It could've been a lot worse... a small consolation for Eddie's current state.]
I bet you'll be doing pirouettes before you know it.
[She wishes her voice was a little calmer and stronger, for Eddie's sake, but she sounds as anxious as always.]
no subject
Date: 2019-06-05 12:31 pm (UTC)Life really did have it out for kids.
For some reason her statement startles a reaction out of him. It's a bit of an awkward, hysterical laugh that mostly gets muffled by her shoulder. She might feel a bit of a wet spot starting to seep into her shirt because it figures that of all things that would be the one to get him crying.)
I'm glad I'm still pretty. (It's a horrible joke, and he knows it, but he's doing his best here. Eddie tips back from Max, sniffing loudly and looking down between them and at his hand.)
I can't even do pirouettes regularly so we might not want to hold out on that dream.
(He lets himself cry in front of Max. Of all people in Deerington, he doesn't think she was going to be calling him anything for crying anytime soon. His face is still growing flushed with embarrassment though. Sometimes he really did hate how weak he was.
He rubs at his face with his free hand, trying to do something about the tears. He noticed the nervousness in her voice. How could he not? He practically invented the Anxious Tone. But he doesn't think badly of her for it. Shit. He had literally just come back from the dead. Though it makes him wonder.)
Um. (He sniffs again, and he doesn't want this to sound bad. He's just...curious.)
Why were you in here anyway? (This was his room, right? A quick glance around confirms that. There wasn't any sort of ugly suspicion in his tone. He didn't think she was snooping or whatever. Max just didn't seem the type. He didn't realize yet how much she knew.)
no subject
Date: 2019-06-05 12:55 pm (UTC)She says nothing about the tears staining her shirt, of course, and when he pulls away she almost wishes he hadn't. There's a swell of emotion in her chest and she'd like to hold him close for as long as he's crying - baby him a little, keep him comfortable and safe. Instead she keeps her hand on his head, moving it downward to gently cup his cheek, letting his tears run over her fingers.
When he looks down at his hand she squeezes it in her own, as though acknowledging its current state and saying it was okay.]
You'll be the town heartthrob in no time.
[There's a hint of teasing deep under that statement, and the slightest smile. But that fades a moment later at his question. A very strange one, in her opinion.]
I was waiting for you to wake up. I brought you water and some medicine for the flu and...
[She trails off, suddenly unsure. Maybe he wants to be alone.
...When she died in Wonderland, she-...
She doesn't think about that.]
Do you want me to go...?
no subject
Date: 2019-06-05 01:27 pm (UTC)Some part of him wanted to be held longer. No, that wasn't exactly right. A huge part of him wanted that. Eddie relished in affection from the people he was close with especially in moments like these. It kept him grounded. And when Max put her hand on his face like that? He gave a more earnest, broken kind of noise, and cried just a little harder. It makes his next laugh even more distorted than the other one had been.)
You have way too much faith in me. Pretty sure the only heart throbbing I'll being is any necessary chest compressions. (God, he was such a nerd.
It's as surprising of an answer as anything else, and Eddie's left staring at her in a sort of quiet amazement. Maybe he should be asking how she knew that he had died, but it suddenly didn't matter.)
You were waiting to take care of me?
(Max had always seemed nice, absolutely, but Eddie knew that you didn't just do that kind of thing for anyone. Did she really care that much about him? Eddie can't help himself. He withdraws from her for a few seconds out of surprise, his hands briefly sliding over his face. Eddie had known how he died as an adult forever ago. The worst part had always been how his friends had just left him there. He had been left alone in death, and that had stuck with him so badly that he had cried in Chara's arms begging for them to not leave so that he wouldn't be alone when he finally passed.
But then to have someone waiting for him even after his death?
He had never thought that the universe or anyone in it would be that kind to him. It's not really the sort of thing you can even put into words. But one thing becomes stupidly clear when Max suggests she go because Eddie gives a shriek of "No!" before he's surging back out and wrapping his arms back around her, squeezing closer than he had before in a full-on hug.)
No, don't leave. Please. (Being alone would be the worst thing right now. He knew it.)
Thank you. I'm sorry- I didn't. I just. I didn't expect it.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 01:22 am (UTC)Then he yells and rushes back to throw his arms around her, and she almost jerks away in surprise - almost. She hugs him back just as tightly, and his small begging makes her tear up. That's something she never wants to hear from a kid. Especially from Eddie.]
S-silly. You don't have to apologize.
[She hopes he doesn't let go right away this time. Her hands move to rub his back comfortingly. She wonders what must be going through Eddie's mind, to think that someone wouldn't be there for him. To think that no one wanted to take care of him. And she does want that. She does.]
It's okay, Eddie. Whatever you're feeling right now... it's okay to feel that way. I promise.
[She's a little lost for words after that, unsure how to comfort him except to hold him and let him cry as much as he needs to into her shoulder.]