[She deserves all the snark Vira-Lorr can possibly send her way.]
:\ Thank you...
Much more myself, yeah. For all the good that does. I feel TERRIBLE, Vira-Lorr, I'm so sorry for everything. I can't believe I did that. I really can't.
...And here I am apologizing over TEXT. It's so dumb. I'm so sorry.
[Max was kind of a hard person to stay mad at, Vira-Lorr was finding. She really really was. She had to stifle a little laugh that she was kicking herself for. The situation was, after all, still kind of serious even if it just felt good to see her back to her more or less normal self.]
You're forgiven, trust me. And try not to worry too much. Hard as it is to believe, the deer fixed me completely. There's been no permanent harm done.
Try not to blame yourself or others. I think there was something in the Mayor's food, and there was definitely something going on, still is in fact, in the dome. It makes us want to win at any cost. I've barely been able to control it at times myself. I have to keep reminding myself that surviving is winning.
And don't worry about it being over text. I think we both know good and well that you're going to have trouble talking for a week without wanting to throw up. I can come over if you want, though.
When I'm feeling better I promise I'll find a way to make it up to you. In person. :|
I figured... That damned mayor. And me eating his food just like he wanted. I don't even want to turn my TV on to watch the Dome. I'm so sick of that place. I just... never want to be that way again.
You might not want to come over just yet. Things are complicated at home.
It almost got me too. I have a thing that helped me control the urges some. It probably did not hurt that I was in a "Prey" team either. I want you to forgive yourself for what happened between us. Yes, I was upset, and I might do a little of that wincing if the memory springs up again, but I am whole.
[Oh man, right, she was upset. Max has been so caught up in the memory of the Dome that she forgot the aftermath of it... and the way she talked to Vira-Lorr. She's cringing hard and she's glad this isn't on video.]
You are way too nice. Not that I'm complaining. It's just hard to feel like I deserve it... but I'll try, Vira-Lorr. If that's really what you want.....
Also, feel free to slap me the next time I start acting like that.
Both of us. I think things are really starting to take a toll on her. A lot worse than before...
I hurt her in the dome. A lot, Vira-Lorr. Maybe too much. I don't know. And it's not just me she lost for a while.
I'm not really as nice as I sound. I just know that, if we allow ourselves to always blame each other and ourselves, we will end up wrecks. And, besides. It is much easier to forgive someone if you don't want to be angry at them.
I have a few tricks up my sleeve, don't you worry. Most of them even work finally. If you lose your mind again, I will try to protect you from yourself if I can.
I see. She gets like this, doesn't she? when she loses someone important to her? Is there anything I can do to help?
I fear that may be a tall order, and that's probably part of the problem. I have no intentions of adding to her worries there again, but I can't promise her not to die when I know better than to assume. I will promise to use everything I can to stay safe and to keep others safe around me. The two of you included. I won't lie. she'd probably see through that lie right now.
You're going to be a physical wreck for a week or so, but afterwards if you need a moment of rest, call me. The emotional stress is getting to all of us, and Susan's lovely company but she really isn't much of a conversationalist. I would not say no to the company.
she would. I dont know how to make all of this better anymore. things just get worse all the time. like some downward spiral into darkness. and she knows it...
[Maybe that's the flu speaking, maybe it's Max's own dark thoughts after her death. But Deerington seems like an inescapable hell right now.]
i wouldnt say no either. ngl, im hella introverted but i dont think id mind some company. i'll let you know. :)
Sometimes it feels that way, but I still have hope. there's progress in other things, no matter how bad it seems at times. But right now, it might not feel like it.
Give me a call if you need more soup, and if I haven't heard from you in a week or so, I'll send a search party to batter your door down.
[She was content to let the conversation stop there. There was a lot of things that weren't going to be easy to talk about in her current physical state, and with Chloe this much of a wreck it wasn't going to get easier, so she wanted to let Max rest at least for the moment.]
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no subject
Date: 2019-08-30 04:59 pm (UTC):\ Thank you...
Much more myself, yeah. For all the good that does. I feel TERRIBLE, Vira-Lorr, I'm so sorry for everything. I can't believe I did that. I really can't.
...And here I am apologizing over TEXT. It's so dumb. I'm so sorry.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-30 05:09 pm (UTC)You're forgiven, trust me. And try not to worry too much. Hard as it is to believe, the deer fixed me completely. There's been no permanent harm done.
Try not to blame yourself or others. I think there was something in the Mayor's food, and there was definitely something going on, still is in fact, in the dome. It makes us want to win at any cost. I've barely been able to control it at times myself. I have to keep reminding myself that surviving is winning.
And don't worry about it being over text. I think we both know good and well that you're going to have trouble talking for a week without wanting to throw up. I can come over if you want, though.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 02:45 am (UTC)I figured... That damned mayor. And me eating his food just like he wanted. I don't even want to turn my TV on to watch the Dome. I'm so sick of that place. I just... never want to be that way again.
You might not want to come over just yet. Things are complicated at home.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 03:36 am (UTC)Chloe? She's suffered a lot, hasn't she?
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 04:18 pm (UTC)You are way too nice. Not that I'm complaining. It's just hard to feel like I deserve it... but I'll try, Vira-Lorr. If that's really what you want.....
Also, feel free to slap me the next time I start acting like that.
Both of us. I think things are really starting to take a toll on her. A lot worse than before...
I hurt her in the dome. A lot, Vira-Lorr. Maybe too much. I don't know. And it's not just me she lost for a while.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 04:44 pm (UTC)I have a few tricks up my sleeve, don't you worry. Most of them even work finally. If you lose your mind again, I will try to protect you from yourself if I can.
I see. She gets like this, doesn't she? when she loses someone important to her? Is there anything I can do to help?
no subject
Date: 2019-09-03 01:24 pm (UTC)yeah, she does... i honestly don't know, Vira-Lorr. if I knew how to help her, that's what I'd be doing.
...everyone not dying is a good start though.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-03 07:07 pm (UTC)You're going to be a physical wreck for a week or so, but afterwards if you need a moment of rest, call me. The emotional stress is getting to all of us, and Susan's lovely company but she really isn't much of a conversationalist. I would not say no to the company.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-10 06:11 pm (UTC)[Maybe that's the flu speaking, maybe it's Max's own dark thoughts after her death. But Deerington seems like an inescapable hell right now.]
i wouldnt say no either. ngl, im hella introverted but i dont think id mind some company. i'll let you know. :)
no subject
Date: 2019-09-10 07:20 pm (UTC)Give me a call if you need more soup, and if I haven't heard from you in a week or so, I'll send a search party to batter your door down.
[She was content to let the conversation stop there. There was a lot of things that weren't going to be easy to talk about in her current physical state, and with Chloe this much of a wreck it wasn't going to get easier, so she wanted to let Max rest at least for the moment.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-15 03:23 pm (UTC)thank you. for everything. for understanding.